Tired, all the time

That has been my #1 syptom so far--exhaustion. I'm always tired and I've become the heaviest sleeper ever (which is great). The only other major symptom is incredibly sore boobs. They hurt all the time when anything touches them, bras, clothes, water, anything. I'm so glad that my 2nd beta came back "perfect" according to the nurse, now we just have to wait to see the little guy/girl on ultrasound in 2 weeks. I have a feeling that the 2 weeks are going to drag. At least there's only one more week of school next week before spring break. I hope this nice weather stays so I can go for walks after soccer practice.

Thanks for all the continued prayers and support. . .

Phew!!!!

Got the call from the RE's office and beta #2 is 605. Holy cow I turned into a spastic freak, I couldn't focus on anything and actually convinced myself I felt less pregnant today. What a weirdo am I? Anyways, I put in the times of the appointments and the betas and I have a doubling time of 34.33 hours. Thank goodness. Ok, now I am relieved and can enjoy not having morning sickness yet :)

More waiting

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The waiting is killing me. I got my blood drawn this morning for my 2nd beta, 1.5 hours ago and I know the wait is going to drive me bananas. It has to double, it has to double, it has to double. . . . That's all that is going through my head. What if it doesn't? What if it's the same? Oh my gosh, I don't think that I could handle it. Please, please let it stick and let us have a healthy and happy 9 months.

So can you tell I'm freaking out?????

HOLY COW!!!

So DH gave me the green light to go ahead and continue my blog, (he thinks it'll pretty cool to look back at) and now that the only other person that reads it knows, he said go ahead. So here we go. . . .

Where did I leave off, hmmmm:

15dpiui--dreaded test day. Hubby got up at 2am to use the restroom (understandable after 9 hours of drinking the day before) and this woke me up. I was up for another hour and a half before I said screw it, I'm going to do it now. I went and got a cup to pee in, grabbed the test from the RE's office, and grabbed the test that I had. I woke him up before actually taking/dipping the test. And then I saw it, 2 beautiful pink lines on the First Response early result test I had left over from last cycle. I yelled at DH to look at it, thought I wanted it so bad I was imagining it. Then I looked at the one from the doctor's office, 2 lines. I took a picture of both, and actually kept both tests.

16dpiui (Monday)--I called the RE's office on Sunday night, and again Monday morning to get an appointment to check my beta hcg. I was so scared. They got me in at 8:45 and called at 2:00 with the results. The nurse asked for me, then said "I have your lab results, (paused)" hello I'm dying here, just tell me " Congratulations, you are very pregnant," what, it's real, oh wow "your levels are good." Of course, being the over-analyzer I wanted to know EXACTLY what they were, and found out that my beta hcg was 239! In doing much research I found this was well within the normal range of 40-425 that was listed on the americanpregnancy.com website.

We are cautiously optimistic. We told both our parents and a nosy fried or two :) There is a ways to go and I don't want to jinx anything. I'm going in again tomorrow to have the beta repeated and hope that the number doubles from yesterday. I would love to get in for an ultrasound to see the gestational sacs (I'll be 5 weeks on Thursday).

Thank you all for your prayers and please keep us in them, this is a long journey and we need all the prayers that you are willing to offer for our now-growing family!

Annoying friends. . .

So yesterday was our annual St Patty's Day pub crawl and it's always the same group of friends that come. Including one girl who is great, don't get me wrong, but because I wasn't drinking she was harassing me about why. I finally had DH buy me a beer and pretended to drink in and then he took mine and I took his empty and continued to pretend. I'm a genius, what can I say??? :)

Any who, today is the big day and I did test, but I'm not going to post the results, those of you that need to know will know soon. The rest of you will just have to wait and see . . .

14dpiui

I DID IT! I HAVEN'T TESTED YET! But boy did I want to this morning!

So it's been exactly 2 weeks since my IUI and I've been having AF type cramps since 12dpiui. It's stressing me out, the cramps were BAD at 12dpiui and then yesterday they were more sporadic and then I woke up thinking they were gone, but alas, they're still here. What the heck??? So of course I do the only natural thing--obsessively search the internet using searches such as "af cramps before BFP" and "14dpiui and af type cramps." For the most part it tells me that it's normal to get AF cramps and it could be my uterus making room for baby, God I hope so! DH and I are so ready to be parents, and last night I thought for some reason that there was no doubt I was pregnant. Then I wake up this morning feeling like a loon for thinking that.

I guess the truth will be learned very soon, which makes my heart beat really fast and my stomach feel as if I'm going to throw up. I'm glad that today is the pre-St. Patty's day celebration. Of course, I'm the DD (haven't drank in about a month), and I hope to be the DD for about 9 more months :)

Any prayers you are willing to send our way would be gratefully received and appreciated!

Lucky #13. . . 13dpiui

So, as you can tell by the early post, I'm totally using the staff delvelopment day today well :) The AF cramps have subsided for the most part, but freaked me out pretty much all night. I woke up at 1:30 this morning having to go to the bathroom, and was still really crampy. Then I couldn't fall back asleep until about 4 am, ugh, I'm dragging today. I'm being cautiously optimistic since this was something out of the ordinary for me. The b**** never shows early if at all, which I thought was a blessing for a long time, because I didn't have to worry about it. Now, it's almost a curse. We'll see what happens. I refrained from testing and DH said last night that he was so frustrated and just wanted us to have a family, it was so sweet and cute. It's the first time he's ever been like that and shown his frustration with the whole IF thing.

2 days, lots and lots of prayers and good vibes. . . .

I could test now. . . but. . .

So today is 12dpiui, and I could test now if I wanted to, but I don't. I'm terrified to take a test because I REALLY don't want to see the dreaded white abyss that I've see for the last year and a half. The RE told me to test on Sunday, so I will, but I'm not looking forward to it like I usually do. Yesterday, DH and I were talking about what I was feeling (and whether or not I was a wacko, of course, he voted yes) and if I felt "pregnant." How the hell do I know? I've never been pregnant, and I've read enough random message boards and blogs at this point to convice myself of just about anything.

As for today, feel nothing really. Nausea went away last night during practice, and to celebrate I ate a HUGE Qdoba burrito, which now sounds completely disgusting. I feel crampy, almost like before AF comes, and my back hurts. Last month I didn't feel this way until after I stopped the progesterone. I'm just hoping and praying for DH and I that she doesn't show her ugly face for about 10 months or so :)

Blah at 11dpiui

So today, I feel like poo. My stomach's in a jumble, I'm starving by my 4th class (11ish), and I keep having very sharp pains on my right side that shoot down the crease between my leg and right ovary. UGH! I've been out like a light each night and I'm not known to be a deep sleeper. Then I wake up at 5 (when the first alarm of many--thanks you-know-who) and can't go back to sleep. I want to think that it's implantation, but who knows at this point. I also thought that the wicked witch (AF) was going to visit this morning, I had some really bad cramps when I woke up. I bet if I wasn't going through IF, I wouldn't notice all this junk :)

The big day's is steadily approaching, and I'm praying that we get our BFP this time.

(Just added now at 2:10)--so lunch was at 1:15 or so and I was starving. I could only eat my oatmeal and half my veggie chips. Couldn't eat my grapes or pudding because I wasn't really even hungry for them. I want to know what is going on so badly, is this a sign or am I being a whack job? I really don't want this to be all in my head. . . or because of progesterone. . .

Kids having kids

No, 17 year old, I don't want to see pictures of your baby. Why, you're 17, I don't care about the whole unmarried thing, unlike one of my older (she's 70) colleagues. I just want you to take care of the kid. And for some of these kids, I know that isn't happening. Some of these kids are NOT smart enough to take care of a kid, I know, I have them in class. I feel like such an awful person for saying all of this, but why did God bless them with a child, while he's making me and DH jump through hoops? We did the right thing--married, check; real job, check; house, check. . . . ahhhhhh. And then I found out today that these girls PLANNED their pregnancy, what?????!!!!

Sorry for the rant, I just had to get it off my chest. I am not a horrible person, just trying to learn why things happen. I know the saying "God will never give you more than you can handle," but why make nice, good, decent people jump through all the hoops. Am I proving myself?

All done, back to being hopeful and chipper. Just had to vent for a second. Cramping and lower back pain pretty much all day, and I'm hungry again, I'm always freaking hungry. I don't know what it is, but I am, and I ate lunch an hour and a half ago. Thing is my stomach's all blah right now, but I'm still hungry, what gives?

Ok, enough from me for the day. Time to go put on the 7 layers of clothes and go to practice. BFP here I come!