It's been awhile, huh?

So sorry for not posting, the last week before break was CRAZY! I had a conference on Thursday and Friday and was without a computer (funny how dependent you become on them). Things are going well, day one of spring break today!!! I woke up at 9:45 after going to bed at 11 (a new record for me). Met some friends out at a bar for "drinks." I made them think it was a vodka 7 but it was just a 7. The waitress totally played it up to which was awesome :)

To catch you all up on my happenings last week that were also crazy and baby-related, I had pain on my left side and called the RE's office (this was when I was 5w4d) completely expecting the "hey crazy lady, you're fine," call. But no, the nurse not only called my cell but also the school and the secretary said that I needed to call them "sooner, rather than later." WTF???!!! So I did and she went on and on about ectopic pregnancy (in the tubes or other weird places). I FREAKED out. I had teachers cover my classes and went in right away for an ultrasound after I called Brian, sobbing. They got me in and low and behold, one beautiful gestational sac with a yolk sac and teeny baby right in the middle of the uterus, phew. I'm so relieved.

So far I've been feeling good (for the most part). Last week marked the severe headache portion of early pregnancy. I had a migraine for about 2 days, gotta love the hormones :) Been having some stretching pain in the groin area, and diagnosed myself with round ligament pain from the uterus stretching. Now we are just waiting for Thursday and keeping the prayers up that we see the heartbeat on the ultrasound. I read once you see it the miscarriage rate drops significantly and then it drops again once you hear the heartbeat and once you are done with the first trimester. It's just so stressful and we just want everything to be ok so badly. We are keeping up the positivity and prayers and hope you all will keep them up to! We're half way through the first trimester, and it has been so much fun!

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers!!!

Soccer + baby = zzzzzz

Our first game was last night and we won!!!!! So excited, but I'm still so tired. I didn't get home until 7:45 last night and then ate dinner, hung with the hubby, took a shower and went to be around 9:30 (really late for me lately). 9 days until I get to see the baby's heartbeat and how many there are (secretly hoping for twins, I think it'd be cool, but would be thrilled with one healthy baby).

I also realized how movements, like shooting at the keeper, really irked my abdomen. I don't know if it was just me over thinking and worrying but it was awkward.

Anyways, onto class, 3 days until spring break--seems like an eternity!

Positivity

That's the name of the game right now, positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers. I can't wait for next Thursday when we get to SEE the heartbeat and find out just how many lil guys we have in the oven. I started getting a bit of nausea today, but it comes and goes, however, the bathroom trips, are another story. Up in the middle of the night, have to go 6 times a day--I love it!!!! It makes me feel like something really is going on in there ;)

1 week until spring break, hope I don't go crazy, I need a break as much as they do!

Lots of sleep and cramps

That pretty much rounds up the symptoms that I've had so far. Lots of sharp pains and twinges that I've read about here lately as the uterine area growing and stretching. That's it for now, nothing new to report. We are contemplating telling our closest friends today at dinner. We read that if you'd be comfortable telling someone if something terrible were to happen (God forbid this for anyone) then you are good to tell them about the pregnancy. It's just so early though, just over 5 weeks. I really wanted to wait until after the ultrasound but Brian and I are SO bad at keeping secrets!

12 days to go until the ultrasound!

2ww all over again

13 days until the ultrasound, and that's all I can think about. That and not peeing myself. Seriously, there are great perks to being a teacher--summers and weekends off, snow days, etc. but when you're a traveling teacher (don't have your own room) and you're in the early stages of pregnancy it sucks. I have no time to go to the restroom and so I feel like I don't drink enough water in the morning. In the afternoon it's no problem--lunch, study hall, physics and done, but in the morning it's physics, physics, medical modules, medical terminology--all in different rooms of course.

Any how, I'm still super excited about everything it still just doesn't feel real. I'm really tired and my boobs feel as though they've been used as punching bags: they are so sore! Brian teases that I'm like an old lady because I go to bed at 8:00, oh well :)

I'm so glad it's the weekend, one more week until spring break (another good perk of teaching).

Tired, all the time

That has been my #1 syptom so far--exhaustion. I'm always tired and I've become the heaviest sleeper ever (which is great). The only other major symptom is incredibly sore boobs. They hurt all the time when anything touches them, bras, clothes, water, anything. I'm so glad that my 2nd beta came back "perfect" according to the nurse, now we just have to wait to see the little guy/girl on ultrasound in 2 weeks. I have a feeling that the 2 weeks are going to drag. At least there's only one more week of school next week before spring break. I hope this nice weather stays so I can go for walks after soccer practice.

Thanks for all the continued prayers and support. . .

Phew!!!!

Got the call from the RE's office and beta #2 is 605. Holy cow I turned into a spastic freak, I couldn't focus on anything and actually convinced myself I felt less pregnant today. What a weirdo am I? Anyways, I put in the times of the appointments and the betas and I have a doubling time of 34.33 hours. Thank goodness. Ok, now I am relieved and can enjoy not having morning sickness yet :)

More waiting

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The waiting is killing me. I got my blood drawn this morning for my 2nd beta, 1.5 hours ago and I know the wait is going to drive me bananas. It has to double, it has to double, it has to double. . . . That's all that is going through my head. What if it doesn't? What if it's the same? Oh my gosh, I don't think that I could handle it. Please, please let it stick and let us have a healthy and happy 9 months.

So can you tell I'm freaking out?????

HOLY COW!!!

So DH gave me the green light to go ahead and continue my blog, (he thinks it'll pretty cool to look back at) and now that the only other person that reads it knows, he said go ahead. So here we go. . . .

Where did I leave off, hmmmm:

15dpiui--dreaded test day. Hubby got up at 2am to use the restroom (understandable after 9 hours of drinking the day before) and this woke me up. I was up for another hour and a half before I said screw it, I'm going to do it now. I went and got a cup to pee in, grabbed the test from the RE's office, and grabbed the test that I had. I woke him up before actually taking/dipping the test. And then I saw it, 2 beautiful pink lines on the First Response early result test I had left over from last cycle. I yelled at DH to look at it, thought I wanted it so bad I was imagining it. Then I looked at the one from the doctor's office, 2 lines. I took a picture of both, and actually kept both tests.

16dpiui (Monday)--I called the RE's office on Sunday night, and again Monday morning to get an appointment to check my beta hcg. I was so scared. They got me in at 8:45 and called at 2:00 with the results. The nurse asked for me, then said "I have your lab results, (paused)" hello I'm dying here, just tell me " Congratulations, you are very pregnant," what, it's real, oh wow "your levels are good." Of course, being the over-analyzer I wanted to know EXACTLY what they were, and found out that my beta hcg was 239! In doing much research I found this was well within the normal range of 40-425 that was listed on the americanpregnancy.com website.

We are cautiously optimistic. We told both our parents and a nosy fried or two :) There is a ways to go and I don't want to jinx anything. I'm going in again tomorrow to have the beta repeated and hope that the number doubles from yesterday. I would love to get in for an ultrasound to see the gestational sacs (I'll be 5 weeks on Thursday).

Thank you all for your prayers and please keep us in them, this is a long journey and we need all the prayers that you are willing to offer for our now-growing family!

Annoying friends. . .

So yesterday was our annual St Patty's Day pub crawl and it's always the same group of friends that come. Including one girl who is great, don't get me wrong, but because I wasn't drinking she was harassing me about why. I finally had DH buy me a beer and pretended to drink in and then he took mine and I took his empty and continued to pretend. I'm a genius, what can I say??? :)

Any who, today is the big day and I did test, but I'm not going to post the results, those of you that need to know will know soon. The rest of you will just have to wait and see . . .

14dpiui

I DID IT! I HAVEN'T TESTED YET! But boy did I want to this morning!

So it's been exactly 2 weeks since my IUI and I've been having AF type cramps since 12dpiui. It's stressing me out, the cramps were BAD at 12dpiui and then yesterday they were more sporadic and then I woke up thinking they were gone, but alas, they're still here. What the heck??? So of course I do the only natural thing--obsessively search the internet using searches such as "af cramps before BFP" and "14dpiui and af type cramps." For the most part it tells me that it's normal to get AF cramps and it could be my uterus making room for baby, God I hope so! DH and I are so ready to be parents, and last night I thought for some reason that there was no doubt I was pregnant. Then I wake up this morning feeling like a loon for thinking that.

I guess the truth will be learned very soon, which makes my heart beat really fast and my stomach feel as if I'm going to throw up. I'm glad that today is the pre-St. Patty's day celebration. Of course, I'm the DD (haven't drank in about a month), and I hope to be the DD for about 9 more months :)

Any prayers you are willing to send our way would be gratefully received and appreciated!

Lucky #13. . . 13dpiui

So, as you can tell by the early post, I'm totally using the staff delvelopment day today well :) The AF cramps have subsided for the most part, but freaked me out pretty much all night. I woke up at 1:30 this morning having to go to the bathroom, and was still really crampy. Then I couldn't fall back asleep until about 4 am, ugh, I'm dragging today. I'm being cautiously optimistic since this was something out of the ordinary for me. The b**** never shows early if at all, which I thought was a blessing for a long time, because I didn't have to worry about it. Now, it's almost a curse. We'll see what happens. I refrained from testing and DH said last night that he was so frustrated and just wanted us to have a family, it was so sweet and cute. It's the first time he's ever been like that and shown his frustration with the whole IF thing.

2 days, lots and lots of prayers and good vibes. . . .

I could test now. . . but. . .

So today is 12dpiui, and I could test now if I wanted to, but I don't. I'm terrified to take a test because I REALLY don't want to see the dreaded white abyss that I've see for the last year and a half. The RE told me to test on Sunday, so I will, but I'm not looking forward to it like I usually do. Yesterday, DH and I were talking about what I was feeling (and whether or not I was a wacko, of course, he voted yes) and if I felt "pregnant." How the hell do I know? I've never been pregnant, and I've read enough random message boards and blogs at this point to convice myself of just about anything.

As for today, feel nothing really. Nausea went away last night during practice, and to celebrate I ate a HUGE Qdoba burrito, which now sounds completely disgusting. I feel crampy, almost like before AF comes, and my back hurts. Last month I didn't feel this way until after I stopped the progesterone. I'm just hoping and praying for DH and I that she doesn't show her ugly face for about 10 months or so :)

Blah at 11dpiui

So today, I feel like poo. My stomach's in a jumble, I'm starving by my 4th class (11ish), and I keep having very sharp pains on my right side that shoot down the crease between my leg and right ovary. UGH! I've been out like a light each night and I'm not known to be a deep sleeper. Then I wake up at 5 (when the first alarm of many--thanks you-know-who) and can't go back to sleep. I want to think that it's implantation, but who knows at this point. I also thought that the wicked witch (AF) was going to visit this morning, I had some really bad cramps when I woke up. I bet if I wasn't going through IF, I wouldn't notice all this junk :)

The big day's is steadily approaching, and I'm praying that we get our BFP this time.

(Just added now at 2:10)--so lunch was at 1:15 or so and I was starving. I could only eat my oatmeal and half my veggie chips. Couldn't eat my grapes or pudding because I wasn't really even hungry for them. I want to know what is going on so badly, is this a sign or am I being a whack job? I really don't want this to be all in my head. . . or because of progesterone. . .

Kids having kids

No, 17 year old, I don't want to see pictures of your baby. Why, you're 17, I don't care about the whole unmarried thing, unlike one of my older (she's 70) colleagues. I just want you to take care of the kid. And for some of these kids, I know that isn't happening. Some of these kids are NOT smart enough to take care of a kid, I know, I have them in class. I feel like such an awful person for saying all of this, but why did God bless them with a child, while he's making me and DH jump through hoops? We did the right thing--married, check; real job, check; house, check. . . . ahhhhhh. And then I found out today that these girls PLANNED their pregnancy, what?????!!!!

Sorry for the rant, I just had to get it off my chest. I am not a horrible person, just trying to learn why things happen. I know the saying "God will never give you more than you can handle," but why make nice, good, decent people jump through all the hoops. Am I proving myself?

All done, back to being hopeful and chipper. Just had to vent for a second. Cramping and lower back pain pretty much all day, and I'm hungry again, I'm always freaking hungry. I don't know what it is, but I am, and I ate lunch an hour and a half ago. Thing is my stomach's all blah right now, but I'm still hungry, what gives?

Ok, enough from me for the day. Time to go put on the 7 layers of clothes and go to practice. BFP here I come!

Double Digits--YAY!

Today marks the double digit past IUI--10! Getting soooo close to testing and I'm getting so nervous. I am still very confident this is our time to be parents. Yesterday the clumsiness continued with me tripping INTO the shower, and dropping my keys about 15 times. I also went to bed at 9 last night, woke up at 5:45 this morning and probably could've slept for a few more hours if I had the opportunity. Also having some boob pain like last month (which I'm attributing to the progesterone) but also some pains on the side that come and go. I want to think they're real, but I'm also a mental case right now, so everything's up in the air.

Last night I had a dream, though. It was the first baby dream I've ever had. I found out that we were having a boy. But the dream was so strange, they pulled the baby out of me, checked the gender, then put it back in. I'm hoping it's my body telling me something :) I had a dream last time that I got a BFP, and we all know how that worked out for us. . .

Any thoughts?????

What in the world is going on. . . .

So today is 9dpiui. . . still not really feeling anything! What is going on here?!?!? I was certain that everything was great, but I feel nothing. Reading message boards doesn't help because women will say that they had symptoms, then spotting (implantation), then more symptoms--I want to write on the board and say "helllloooo, you can't have pregnancy symptoms BEFORE you're pregnant!" I am also on progesterone which mimics any kind of pregnancy symptoms you may think you have, it's actually probably the meanest drug out there. It makes your boobs sore and you feel all bloated ALL the time. The only thing I've had this month is lower back pain (almost kidney-type pain) and some ovarian pain, mostly cramping.

This weekend something else struck me as strange--I was VERY clumsy! Now those of you that know me know that this is not unusual, but the extreme clumsiness that occurred was crazy! Saturday, I was making chicken salad and dropped the mayo on the floor (thank goodness for plastic containers). My DH thought it was the funniest thing in the world, and kept asking what happened and I had no idea. Then last night we were making chicken tacos for dinner and I dropped the lid for the chipotle spice, knocked the vegetable oil over, spilled veggies everywhere. . . . It's like a three-ring circus at our house right now.

I hope that being clumsy is a good sign, I'll take 9 months of clumsiness!!!! I've also had a bad taste in my mouth for a couple days now, I'm hoping and praying for some good news this weekend!

Day 8

It feels like it should be so much later today, I guess that's what happens when you get up early and go to church and actually get things done! We are finishing watching Julie and Julia and it's all that I can do to not think about the fact that I will be testing very soon (1 week from now). I still have zero symptoms, which is very different from last time--I had all these twinges and feelings in my abdomen, it was probably just gas :)

I've been saying lots of prayers for DH and I to be blessed with our first child, I feel selfish asking for something for ourselves, but it's all I can do to stay sane. I have to believe that this will work and all the heartache I felt last month after getting the dreaded BFN will be wiped away this month with a BFP. I'm still trying to stay very positive but I'm getting nervous as "test" day nears. I hope that everyone will keep us in their thoughts and prayers, we really appreciate them all!

Half Way, woo-hoo!

Today is the 7 day mark, half way through the dreaded 2ww. It has felt like forever but it went fast, and that probably doesn't make any sense but oh well. I woke up this morning feeling nothing. Yesterday sick, today nothing. Hmmmmm, weird. I'm chalking it up to the progesterone, but still feel positive about this IUI.

It's Saturday night and I'm doing laundry and DH is at the gym. I'm just so stinking tired all the time, soccer is wearing me out! All that fresh air, crisp, freezing, cold air.

Only different thing that I've noticed this cycle is back pain, but I think that's from standing for hours at school and practice. Please pray that this works, that's all I've been doing :)

Great Distraction!

So last night we went and saw John Mayer and he was AMAZING! It was such a great distraction from what I've been going through and thinking about. I just got to sit back and enjoy a show with a wonderful hubbie and some good friends. I didn't have anything to drink either (despite the goofy picture DH took of us and posted on fb).

I'm 6dpiui and yesterday my back started to hurt over my right side. It felt like when I had a kidney infection when I was younger (didn't drink enough water), but it was just on the one side (which is also the side I had 2 follies). I'm hoping it's a good sign. I also woke up this morning with a nice case of nausea. I thought I was going to hurl everywhere, I ate a piece of toast, no help. I came to work, no help. Finally 5 hours later, I am feeling a little better but have a nasty taste in my mouth. Who knows, maybe I'm just being a head case? It could also be the fact that 7 hours of teaching + 2 hours of soccer= a whole lotta tired, and that could've cause the nausea. Only time will tell, 9 days until testing, might as well be a million. Here's hoping and praying this is it! Baby thoughts :)

5dpiui, the journey continues

It's 5 dpiui and still nothing, no twinges, cramping, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach. . . . I think that the women that claim to have these symptoms at 3dpiui are crazy (sorry if you're one of them, I was one last month). It is WAY TOO EARLY for any of that, implantation hasn't even happened yet! I'm taking it easy and enjoying the ride, well impatiently enjoying the ride.


Soccer season starting has been awesome and exhausting all at the same time. DH and I went to bed at 9:30 last night, and I've been waking up at 4 am the past few mornings for no real good reason. It's like my body thinks it's time to get up, when all I want is a few more hours of sleep!

Is it March 14th yet? It'd be awesome to have a "St. Patrick's Baby," hubby would love that! John Mayer concert is tonight, should be a good distraction. . .

4 dpiui. . . still waiting

So today marks the 1/4 of the wait done. I had some really weird pains on my left side in the groin area. It was a shooting pain and it happened about 3 times this morning. Not reading much into it, but it was very strange.

Soccer season's in full swing, and it's helped to keep my mind off the wait. I really want to play, but I'm thinking big picture, especially since I'm PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). It's nice to think that right now I have a life beginning inside me, even though at this point it would just be cells dividing, I'll take it! All the obsessive research I've done says that implantation happens anywhere from day 6 to day 12 after IUI/ovulation. . . so there isn't really even anything to test at this point. The boobs are still tender from the hcg shot, but it's manageable.

Well, it's off to lunch and then 2 classes before practice. This getting home at 6:30 really stinks!! I'm exhausted!

What Not to Say to a Woman Going Through IF

Are you pregnant?
Are you pregnant yet?
So when are you going to get pregnant?
I had no problem getting pregnant. . .
It's all in God's plan (so does HE not want me to be a mom?)
It'll happen when it happens. . .
Enjoy being married . . .
You're young. . .
It's not all it's cracked up to be. . .
Stop stressing about it. . .
Why are you so worried?

This is a few samplings of things you should keep in your head and NEVER say to a woman who is trying to get pregnant (and I've heard them all :( )

Dumb Idea

So today is 3 dpiui, and still feeling good. I got to start the progesterone again and that is an experience in itself :/

Yesterday, after school, we had day one of soccer tryouts. I decided that I was going to hop into a group that was short a girl. . . DUMB IDEA. After about 5 minutes I realized that my ovaries were aching and my uterus felt as if it was going to explode. Then, when I stopped, everything started throbbing--I had to sit down and take deep breaths. I'm not a weenie when it comes to pain, but it was pretty excruciating. I joked with the head coach afterwards that I was afraid something might have fallen out :) She laughed. I will not being doing that again!

Still no real symptoms, my boobs hurt yesterday and today, but that is more than likely from the hcg shot I took Friday. I wish there was a magical way to know once you were pregnant, like you pee purple or something. A definitive yes or no right away once implantation happens. . .

Prayers to all undergoing treatment, we are some strong women!

2 days post IUI

I'm already going batty with the wait, 13 more days until I can test. . . it's going so slow and is taking everything I have inside me to not look up every little feeling (and I have no feelings right now, I'm feeling freakishly normal--no sore ovaries, no cramping, nothing)or question I have about the process.

Prayers and thoughts go out to everyone going through the trials and tribulations of IF, it is a cruel process that is determined to make you feel crazy.

On a positive note "spring" sports start today (spring being in quotes because it's 30 degrees right now) and I'm hoping that soccer will keep my mind off the two week wait.

Happy Monday!